Transcript
Manuel:
[0:09] Welcome to Berlin, Jae! You're here!
Jae:
[0:11] Thank you, thank you. It it feels good to be here. It feels great.
Manuel:
[0:16] So I picked you up at the airport exactly one week ago and meant to grab a little podcast episode or like a life reportage audio report at the airport. But then I was running late and it didn't work out. I just remember you being so full of energy and happy and ... yeah, just happy, I guess.
Jae:
[0:41] Yep, I was on a high. I was riding on a big high. I mean this is like those things in life that you have told yourself that you want to accomplish, and they always seem so impossible. And then you actually accomplish it. I mean, just the act of accomplishing long term goal, I think, gives you so much dopamine and serotonin, honestly stuff that drugs can't even give you, you know, so when you met me, I was riding on the high.
Manuel:
[1:16] Yeah! So one week in, how do you feel?
Jae:
[1:21] I feel good. I feel settled a little bit, I feel happy, I feel satisfied in a way. Of course there are still things that I want to do, but for the longest time I've been trying to find a city that I can just call my home and I can grow, and I finally feel like that challenge, that obstacle for myself, is finally done. So I can now start to figure out how to actually live here and figure out how to make a life here. And that is such a relief, because every place that I've lived before I always had this back in my mind that I won't be here long, you know, I won't be here for more than like a year or so. But being in Berlin, I'm like: Oh yeah, I'm going to at least be here for four years - at least. So it's just ... it's a breath of fresh air, it's very refreshing.
[2:15] So we're going to talk a little bit about all the things you've already done and accomplished in your first week here. But I want to hear in a little bit more detail about your trip and your first days here. So basically, I guess the trip ... I mean you just jumped into an airplane and packed your suitcases and went here. Was there anything that you think is important to mention. or interesting to anyone else who is thinking of coming to Berlin, not as a tourist but moving to Berlin, in terms of the actual trip. Is there anything that you had to prepare or that was important to know about?
Jae:
[2:57] To be honest, and I can only speak from my personal experience, so I will only speak from my own personal experience, but it was much easier than I thought it was going to be. I showed Manuel a letter that I write to my current self from my future self.
Manuel:
[3:16] Is there something you do, like all the time? Is this a regular thing?
Jae:
[3:19] It is a regular thing. I'm trying to make it more of a regular thing. So I had a message from my future self saying that this move was so easy, it was really great, I had no issues, everything worked out perfectly, and honestly, like it couldn't have worked out any better. All of my flights were on time. Oh! Well there was one little thing. I noticed ... So I was having a layover in London and it was supposed to go from London to Berlin and it was originally scheduled for 11 am in the morning. However it's Sunday ... No, Saturday. I checked my flight and that flight was not showing up anymore. And I got so worried. I was like: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Where is this flight? What happened, what happened? Then I read that it got canceled and I'm like: Oh crap! Damn!
[4:14] So thankfully I was able to reach out to the airlines and they were able to give me a new flight, but my advice would just be: Check your emails! Check your emails, because I did not. They sent that on Wednesday, technically, and I didn't check in until Saturday! And thankfully it was only because I was trying to tell somebody what time I was flying in. I was like: I can check out a flight here. So yeah, that would be my only advice, would be to check your emails. Also if you're going to bring a lot of stuff, prepare to pay an extra $100 for a suitcase, because I did that, or €100, whatever currency you're using.
Manuel:
[4:54] Just 100 flat, whatever currency! Yes, that's how much it costs!
Jae:
[5:00] But yeah, I would just say: Trust yourself, trust the process and don't worry too much. Like this is supposed to be an exciting adventure for yourself and yeah, they're gonna be obstacles, but the more you worry, the more unenjoyable these first impressions are going to be, and you want to at least start your adventure on a good note. So I did a lot, a lot, a lot of intentional positivity, intentional mindset-practicing, like generally repeating affirmations and just getting myself into a good mood. And I think that contributed a lot to me having an easy move here. So I can't give specific, actionable steps, but all I can say is: Just keep a positive mindset. And people may argue that: Oh, you can't always have a positive mindset. I disagree. That's the one thing in life that you can control, and if you're doing this for yourself, you deserve to be happy and excited about this adventure. So treat yourself to excitement, you know. Treat yourself to the rush and the thrill of a new adventure.
[6:11] And also know that while this is something that you're trying to accomplish, it's not going to be easy, and I'm not saying that you're not going to have obstacles and problems, because when .... We will get to this a little bit later on that episode, but I've already run into some obstacles and problems. So it's not about thinking that everything's going to be perfect, but at least in the beginning, try to at least have the most optimistic mindset that you can.
Manuel:
[6:36] "Treat yourself," is what I got from that. And so then you got here and you somehow, managed to have a room ready to move into, the day you arrived here. Impressive!
Jae:
[6:52] Yes Manuel picked me up from the airport, we went to his place. Also, thank you, Manuel, for honestly being a great welcoming host. It made everything so much more comfortable and smooth, I have to attribute that to you. Truly, truly, truly appreciate that, very grateful for your help, honestly, ten out of ten, highly recommend! But yeah, I was actually lucky enough to have two options of places to live, but there was one place that I was really preferring, the guy that I'm subleasing from right now. He had reached out to me, maybe the middle of last weekend, offering his place. It was fully furnished already, like it had a bed, a couch, a TV, balcony, table, all the type of stuff, my own bathroom, and I was just so excited to be here, and I was like: You know what, it's 6, or 18 o'clock, why not just reach out to them and see if I can go see the place? So I literally dropped off myself at Manuel's flat, and I just traveled over to his place, liked the place, gave him my money through Paypal, got the key, and I was like: Yep, got it! That was like maybe in the first two hours of getting here.
Manuel:
[8:08] So looking back, I remember you started looking for places like months ago. What do you think is the right time to start looking for a room or a place to move to before coming to Berlin?
Jae:
[8:19] I don't know if there's a specific time. I mean, the sooner the better, but then I'll give you my pros and cons of doing it really early. The pros of doing it early is you get into the habit of looking for a place, like you start to figure out the certain websites, certain things that you're looking for, the certain ways that communication goes, and that's a super cool thing. But the con of that is a lot of places that I've always checked out, they're looking for people to come in like a week or two weeks, like around that duration, and they also prefer you to be there in person. So that was kind of not helpful because I wasn't there. And then on the other end of things, if you wait till the last minute to start searching, you can find a place, but then you might not have as many options. But once again, especially when you're moving here, you have to just kind of compromise and just be grateful for the opportunity that you have, because you might not have a lot of them. But my goal is to throw everything at the wall and just see what sticks. So if you can do that as early as possible, do that as early as possible. If you maybe are in a week or two before, still try to throw as much as you can.
[9:42] Now keep in mind that you don't want to burn yourself out, you don't want to overwhelm yourself, but develop a habit that works for you. I personally used Facebook groups to find all of my housing when I was living in the UK, when I was living in Austin, and when I was living in Berlin. Every place that I found has been through Facebook. And the reason why I like Facebook Groups - not Facebook as a company or whatnot, but Facebook Groups - is because I'm talking to actual people, and it's easier for me to confirm if they are, you know, human or whatnot. And generally, a lot more people speak English that way too, and it was just easier for me to communicate with people that way. And especially since I'm moving here, I'm dealing with more subleasing type of things, so I'm not having to deal specifically with showing proof of income, having a Schufa, having all this paperwork that I just won't have in my first few days of being here. So I highly recommend doing it as early as possible, or just reaching out and having some sort of structure, just continuously checking, but just don't overwork yourself. And also just have faith, you know, because the place that I got, the place, I'm living it right now, he reached out to me, I didn't reach out to him. So there's just a thing of just staying optimistic and trusting that it'll all work out the way that it works out.
[11:12] So we didn't spend that much time together this first week, but I remember specifically when you were at my place, you were like, "Huh? You have a door to your kitchen that you can close! That's so weird!" And I'm sure there's many, many things that you're noticing that are just different from US culture. And I'm just curious. What are some things you noticed, some first impressions, some first little culture shocks, maybe. Kind of what are the things that surprised you?
Jae:
[11:46] Yeah, every room has a door here! The living room has a door, the kitchen has a door.
Manuel:
[11:49] Yes, we like privacy! We like to shut our doors!
Jae:
[11:52] Yes! Y'all do! We have very ... like the only thing that has doors in my apartments back at home were just your personal bedroom and your bathroom. But the kitchen, the living room, they were always open, no matter where I went. That was weird. The way the doors open here are different too. Like doors, some of the doors they pull towards you, where most doors in America, they pull away from you. So like you push the doors.
Manuel:
[12:23] Wait, Doesn't that depend on what side of the door you're on?
Jae:
[12:27] No, like, so for example, like the door to my apartment, I push it towards me, which is really weird. I notice that in some places like I'm confused over which way I open the door. And that's just a little small thing.
Manuel:
[13:07] Okay, let's do a little mini topic here because we received an email from Susan. Hi Susan! And she wrote as a topic suggestion: Recycling. What goes in each bin? What can be recycled? How to organize bins in your house? Where do milk cartons go? What kind of plastic can go in the yellow bin? Plastic toys? Food packaging? What do I do with old electronics? So, lots of questions! Just kind of a mini overview: most households have either at least three or four different bins, as she says, so basically there's general garbage which I guess should come last because that's kind of everything else. Then there's paper, where you put paper ,and it's for recycling paper and cardboard. And then there's plastic which is basically any type of single-use plastic, and also milk and juice cartons, kind of these Tetra Paks, and yeah, there's a few different kind of logos or symbols that help with that, but also not really. And then I also have organic waste, so basically food waste. And then there's kind of the Restmüll, so Rest means "the rest," right? So everything else goes there, and that stuff, I think, gets just burned. And the rest gets recycled.
[14:33] And old electronics, this is a good point. So if you buy ... Basically any place that sells electronics also has to take back old electronics of the general type and size. So it doesn't matter if they are selling that exact brand or that exact thing, like if you're buying a computer monitor, for example, that place should also take back your old printer, for example, as an example, so that goes for any store, whether it's an electronic store or a supermarket or anything. And in terms of paper and plastic, I think the big thing is that you shouldn't put anything in there that's mixed, so if there's things that are glued together and there are different materials, that doesn't go in there because that can't be recycled. And yeah, there's a few more rules that I'm not too certain about, but that's kind of the general gist. And yeah, I think Germans are quite proud of the fact of this kind of whole recycling system. Also, glass goes into containers on the street sorted by different colors, so that gets recycled. But unfortunately - at least from what I've heard - a lot of stuff ends up not being recycled, either because it's done wrong or it gets mixed at some point. So it's like we're kind of proud of the whole recycling chain, but at the end of the day, the results are not perfect.
Jae:
[16:05] Hey, but at least it's better than nothing, you know. like at least the system is out there. And there's definitely a learning curve to it all. Like I'm learning to know what to separate or whatnot, but I think it's something that like at least Germany is doing that, and it's better than just throwing everything into one bin and just calling it a day, you know. Like there's at least attempt or actions at it. What do you do with an envelope? I'm looking at an envelope right now and I'm like: That's technically paper and plastic.
Manuel:
[16:35] See, that's a great question! And it's a great example for my own ignorance! I'm googling: Briefumschlag mit Plastik welche Müll. Let's see what it says. Yeah, so they can go ... Yeah, so that's not a problem, I guess stuff like that because it's ... So what happens is when it goes into the recycling center, it all goes goes into water, and the water is kind of separating, and then the paper basically goes down and the plastic stays on top, and that's how they separate that. So yeah, you can put those in the paper. But if it's, for example, like a yogurt box thing that has like plastic and paper glued together, then that would be different, I think. So, if in doubt, just google it.
Jae:
[17:36] Gotcha. Interesting. So much to learn.
Manuel:
[17:56] See, this was a whole thing on my other podcast in the category of Das Nervt! Because it really ... Some restaurants will refuse to give you tap water, because the thing in Germany is that restaurants make most of their money, or at least a lot of their money, by selling drinks and they don't want to give you free tap water. And that's one of the biggest things that I love about the US, where you just get a giant jug of tap water, you don't even have to ask for it, it's just there. And I am a thirsty person, I love drinking water, and so it's great. Yeah, in Germany, basically, the default actually is that you order a drink, and even if the drink that you want is water, you kind of order it. And so if you say, "Hey, I would like a water please," they will ask you, "Sparkling or non-sparkling?" Sparkling obviously comes in a bottle and is paid, but even if you say, "No, no. No gas," like not sparkling, it'll be a super expensive little bottle with water that came on a truck.
[19:05] And if you want tap water that is free, you need to specifically specify or ask, "Can I have some tap water?" And, depending on the restaurant, they all either just do it, or they'll do it begrudgingly and they will look at you. Or, something that you see more and more, even on menus, they'll say: Hey, if you want tap water, you can only have it if you also order a drink, or we will charge you a euro, or whatever. And it's a little ridiculous, but I kind of prefer ... It's a little more honest, you know, I prefer paying a euro for tap water, than for them to give me an angry look. It's like: Don't look at me like that, like if you really depend that much on the money from the drinks then then charge the euro, that's fine. And honestly, I kind of get it, too. Because meals in Berlin are really cheap, and if you're having lunch for €7 and then you're having tap water, it's like, yeah, the restaurant isn't making a lot of money off of that. And if you otherwise pay another €3 or €4 for a drink, you know, I get it. So I've given up on the tap water fight. I just ordered my favorite drink, which is Apfelschorle, which I heard is also another thing that surprised you.
Jae:
[20:27] Yes, just to end on that water thing, I ended up paying €5 for still water, and I was very, very confused. I was like: What is this?
Manuel:
[20:36] Oh no! They gave you a big bottle of Evian or something like that?
Jae:
[20:38] I'm like, yeah, yeah, and it was just ... No, it wasn't. Like in a little wine glass! I'm like, it wasn't even that special. They tried to put a little grapefruit little slice in there and I was like: That's what I paid for? I was like: If I had known that, I would have just got tap water! I thought that tap and still water was the same exact thing. Apparently not, Germany! So, yeah. Yes, apfel ... I'm still learning how to pronounce words, but the sparkling apple juice, is what I wanted to call it, is a hit. That was a great, great, great discovery that Manuel shared with me.
[21:14] But it's not sparkling apple juice. It's apple juice mixed with sparkling water. And it's kind of important to specify this, because I think if you just made apple juice sparkling, it wouldn't be as refreshing, because it would just be so sweet, right?
Jae:
[21:27] That's true.
Manuel:
[21:28] That's kind of the trick, the hit about it. The trick about it is that it's 50-50 and sparkling.
Jae:
[21:36] It is a great refreshing drink, and so was the Club-Mate. That one is a new favorite of mine as well.
Manuel:
[21:45] Club-Mate, yeah, that's a very Berlin thing, it's now completely mainstream. I remember like fifteen years ago it was a very kind of nerd thing to drink, like all the computer nerds were drinking Club-Mate because it has a lot of caffeine and it's very sweet. It's kind of like I think it has about as much sugar as a Coca-Cola does, and as much caffeine or more, but it doesn't taste as sweet, I think? And so yeah, a lot of people like it.
Jae:
[22:15] Yeah, they're dangerous. I'm gonna have to not get these anymore, because they are very sweet and sugary.
Manuel:
[22:20] Yeah.
Jae:
[22:22] And I try not to drink too much sugar. But I've treated myself, I've been in tourist mode. Like last week, that was my tourist mode, so I was like: It's okay!
Manuel:
[22:32] Definitely. Nice. Anything else that's ...
Manuel:
[23:28] Interesting, very interesting! Yeah, I feel like you hear both things, you know, people complaining or being surprised by how everybody just speaks English and even kind of the stereotype is you can't even go to a bar anymore in Berlin, or to a cafe, without the waiter talking to you in English. And it's so difficult to learn German that way. But on the other hand, I think it's yes, obviously those things happen, but at the end of the day as you've pointed out, we are in Germany and kind of the lingua franca or the language, the default language, is German, yes. And I guess, yeah, maybe if you go to a store and you want to make a contract, you want to get a cell phone contract, the sales person is going to want to talk in German.
Jae:
[24:15] Yes, and that's happened a lot and that's getting to the next point of the struggles that I've come to face while being here already.
Manuel:
[24:24] Tell us about them.
Jae:
[24:26] For sure. I would say, I mean, like the language barrier has been, I think the biggest challenge. And I'm trying not to overwhelm myself because of course I need to learn German, but I'm not going to learn it overnight,
[25:04] Like I went to go get a phone plan. I just needed a prepaid phone, because I just needed a sim card right then and there. I wasn't trying to order one, I was trying to get a prepaid sim card right then and there. So I went to the Telekom store and they just had some on the little rack and it was very expensive, it was like 5 GB for €25, but that was the biggest plan that they had. So then I was like: Okay, let me go to Vodafone and see. And the guy was talking to me and I was trying to just get a prepaid sim card, like I emphasized, "A prepaid sim card." And he was trying to, I think, sell me a contract for like 50 years or whatnot, and he was speaking English, but it was still broken-up English, so I couldn't really understand what he was saying, like I did not trust that I was getting what I needed. And, maybe I'm just nervous or whatnot, but I do feel that like sometimes I might be getting taken advantage of, because I don't really know what people are saying, that much, and I'm just trying to get the easiest thing. So it's really difficult to have an actual conversation where we're each understanding each other and I'm getting the best type of service that I can, when that language barrier is there, you know. And it's difficult because like you're not always available, other people aren't always available, to help me out, like I'm doing these things solo. And then whenever like I got - Oh my gosh! - my bike ...
Manuel:
[26:36] So just about that story, I agree that, obviously, speaking German would have helped you in that moment, but also ... and I guess that's what this podcast is about, and we'll do an episode about getting a sim card - or a short episode because yeah, it's not rocket science - but I think the better method is, basically picking something and knowing about the options, instead of just wandering into a Telekom or Vodafone store where they're obviously going to want to sell you a contract instead of just selling you a prepaid card. And so yeah, I think, no matter if you speak German or not, they're gonna probably try to up-sell you, or sell you something expensive there.
Jae:
[27:20] Yeah, and I'm just like: Can't you just work with me please? Not everything has to be about selling! I'm just trying to live! And I ended up going with a Telekom 5 GB one, because it was literally on the shelf, I did not have to talk to the guy. And yeah, it's a little bit more expensive, but in terms of simplicity ... And that's one thing I would say, you might ... Like, for example my apartment is a little bit more than the average apartment, but if you are moving to a new country or a new place, it might be worth it for the sake of simplicity and ease to pay a little bit more to have it a little bit easier, if that makes sense.
Manuel:
[28:04] It does make sense. Obviously it depends on whether you can afford to do it.
Jae:
[28:08] Yes, it does.
Manuel:
[28:10] But obviously I agree that you are making your life easier if you kind of, yeah, are able to pay a little bit more. The sim card just ... we will do an individual episode. But so you didn't get a two-year contract, you just got a prepaid sim that you can basically ditch at any point, correct?
Jae:
[28:28] Yes, which I will be. I'm switching to a another company after this month! Yeah. But yeah.
Manuel:
[28:34] Okay. Let's talk about it in the next one, maybe. So, bike. You went and bought a bike.
[28:39] Yes, so Sunday one of my other coworkers sent me information of a used bike sale that they have going on, and I was like: Okay, perfect! I mean, like we talked about bikes in our last episode. I'm like: This is a great time to get myself a bike. I've been walking or using the subway, which has been great, but like we talked about it's so much nicer to have a bike to be able to see the city. So I go there and I'm looking at all the bikes, and you know, I was very, very confident in myself before I got there! I was like: Okay, this is gonna be a breeze! And I was going to be able to just go riding the bike and just see, and whatnot. And the one ... I would say, like it is the culture shock of not knowing the language and still feeling out of place is still present, and granted, I need to give myself time is still going to be my advice in the future, at the end of the episode, but it's going to take time for me to feel comfortable here, you know, I'm going to feel uncomfortable for the time being. And I did. I felt so uncomfortable there because I did not know ... like I thought I knew what to ask people or whatnot, but once again, either people were just trying to sell me, or people didn't speak enough English for me to actually have a conversation about the bikes that I could get, or whatnot.
[29:58] So when I was looking at the bikes, like I was just trying to look and just use my own perception and evaluation to see which bikes worked for me or whatnot. And then I ended up seeing the bike that I found and I sent Manuel a picture of it, and he was like, "Yeah, that's a good buy, that's a great frame," or whatnot. I ended up being able to get the price down, but it was so interesting because it was like I talked to one guy - there was two guys who were selling this bike - and I talked to one guy about getting the price down and then we agreed on €175, but then he got busy with somebody else. So then the other guy came around and I was like, "We agreed on €175." He was like, "No." And then I was like, "Well, that guy said that." And he was ... they communicated and he was like, "Yes." I'm like: Y'all didn't work on your communication because you're not about to up-sell me again after he just said €175. I gotcha! And then they did not want to take card.
Manuel:
[32:07] It's true. Germany is ... Berlin is kind of caught between two worlds, because Germany is still very much a - I'm not sure if it's cash-first, but kind of - cash-necessary country. Like people still carry around cash, and there are still places that only accept cash, because it's cheaper for them or whatever. But then Berlin is obviously also hip and kind of future-forward or whatever, and so there are some cafés that will only accept cash, and then there's some hip new cafés that will only accept credit cards, or cards in general, I should say, Girocard, credit card. And it's like, yeah, so now you kind of just, you need both, like you can't just have one, you need you need to have both, a little bit of both. And I guess, yeah, if you're buying a bike, obviously if you're buying a bike at a bike shop, they'll always accept cards, at least kind of the Girocard, like not necessarily credit card. But that was more kind of a flea-market type of situation, right, where it was outside and stuff? And in those kinds of situations you kind of always need cash in Germany.
Jae:
[33:21] Yeah, exactly.
Manuel:
[34:10] Did you hurt yourself?
Jae:
[34:11] I did. I scraped my knee. We had a little boo boo! That I had to go get plasters for it, which, that's another different thing. We say Band-Aids in America, we don't use the word, "plasters."
Manuel:
[34:13] Oh boy.
Jae:
[34:23] So that was very interesting. But then, okay, so then I messaged Manuel, I'm like: Hi, so I damaged my bike already!
Manuel:
[34:31] You sounded so down. You sounded ...
Jae:
[34:33] I was so down. I was so ... I won't lie, I was very upset. I mean, I just got this bike and I'm like: Oh! Like it hasn't even been a day, and I paid so much money for the bike.
Manuel:
[34:45] You wrecked it totally!
Jae:
[34:46] And I wrecked it. And once again there was this guy who tried to help me but he didn't speak English, so I didn't know what he was saying, so I just kept ... I dragged ... I can't roll the bike because the front wheel doesn't work, so I was just dragging my bike. It's not a light bike and I still have maybe ten minutes to go from walking to home, so then I end up going to one of the bike shops that Manuel suggested that I go to, then I go there.
[35:12] And it was difficult because they don't - this is my thing with the whole language barrier of the service things - they don't really speak that well of English. So he was trying to explain to me, and all I got was he can't fix the bike. And he was trying to explain to me what the problem was, but he was speaking in German and I was like, "I don't speak that, I don't know what you're saying, I'm sorry!" And then he got someone else who was doing a little bit better, but all he could say was, "We can't fix the bike." So it was like in those situations like I don't even know what the problem was, I don't know if they can fix the bike, and I'm like: Crap! I mean I just bought this bike and they cannot fix it. I'm like: Aargh! I'm like: That's like literally €200 out of my pocket right there, just in the trash. Then my mom was like, "Well just try try to find another place and see what they say." So I dragged my little bike ... I felt so ... just like lost, just dragging this bike to the next place! Keep in mind I don't know where I'm going, so I'm trying to look at my phone for directions or whatnot. And I take it to another place and they say that they might be able to fix it. They're going to order a part then it's going to cost like €150 or whatnot.
[36:32] And all I said was, "Okay." And they didn't take my money like my [inaudible] till mid-May, but that was one of my other frustrations because I'm like, I can't have a conversation with this person about like, one, negotiating price down to what is the actual problem. Like I don't even know what part he was telling me he's going to buy. It was like something for the front wheel, and I'm like, "Is that really going to make the thing work?" And he only looked at it, like I don't even know if that's gonna even help. So I'm going to probably try to find some other places to go, but that already is one of my frustrations, is just not being able to get the help that I need because I don't understand the language and we can't communicate that well. So it's been ... I will say that I have loved my time here but definitely it's a little bit overwhelming in some cases. Like I'm not going to lie and say that everything is perfect. Nothing in life is perfect,
Manuel:
[37:41] And all of this, I swear to you, is part of culture shock. That is the experience. And yes, it's a rollercoaster. You have all these emotions, you get endorphins, but you also struggle, and there's going to be so many things that go wrong and that you don't understand. And that's just culture shock.
Jae:
[38:04] Yeah. Yeah. No, you're definitely right. And it's a part ... The thing is I know this. It's like even before I came here, I was telling my mom, I was like, "I'm excited to see what the culture shock is." And the universe was like, "Alright, bet I got you. I will show you culture shock! And it's just different, like in the moment of things, because you just want everything to go well, and then things aren't going well and things don't go well, and then you just get confused. And then you feel this pressure on you, because it's like at those shops there's now a line, you know, and I'm holding up the line because I don't understand what's going on. And they're not that compassionate to me, which is understandable, they have a job that ... they're just trying to get people in and out, so ...
Manuel:
[38:49] It's also Berlin. You just need to be prepared for people not being necessarily compassionate or overly friendly, outwardly friendly, because that's just not the culture.
Jae:
[39:03] Yes. Yes, that's another culture shock. In America it's: Customers First! The whole let-me-speak-to-the-manager type of thing is very real there! It's not ... I understand that, you know, like I'm not coming here wanting to feel entitled, that I deserve special treatment or what not, but it's just like I'm all about problem-solving, and when I can't solve a problem, that makes me a little bit overwhelmed. I'm like: Oh my gosh, how can I do this? But then, yeah, it's, what you said, like it's all a part of the journey, it's all a part of the experience, and I need to relax.
[39:41] And this is my advice for myself is: Things take time. It hasn't ... yesterday wasn't even a week yet, you know, so I think I need to give myself a little bit more credit for what I'm going through. And it's like the first week! Obviously things are not going to go one hundred percent smoothly in the first week, hell, not even probably in the first few months, you know. I'm still gonna have some obstacles. I think I was probably pushing myself a little bit too much, especially given it's like only been seven days, to get all of this stuff done in the first seven days. And the great thing, you know, I'm excited, I just want to get established, but my advice to myself for now on, and anybody else listening here, is: Take it slow, and know that things take time, and it's okay not to do everything at once. Of course it might come with some obstacles, you might not be able to do everything that you want to, but overall it might be beneficial to say: Okay, I'm only going to achieve two things this week.
[40:46] And maybe not until my third month will I have everything that I need. Because it can get ... at least, especially knowing myself, I get overwhelmed very easily, and I got very overwhelmed yesterday. Yesterday ... I always have great days, but yesterday was not my best day. I'll just be very just honest with that because I was just so like: Oh my God, and just exhausted, and not to mention jet-lagged, and like starting work again, and just trying to figure everything out, and it's been a rollercoaster of a week so far! I love where I am, and I think it's fun though to have that, because I mean it makes great story times, you know, it's great for the plot!
Manuel:
[41:30] Yes, and that's that's exactly the perspective you should have, even if you're not telling that story on a podcast later, just kind of try to take an outside perspective and just enjoy kind of the movie, and enjoy the rollercoaster. And how boring would it be if just everything was smooth sailing always and a hundred-percent perfectly planned and executed. And it's really part of the experience, I think.
Jae:
[41:59] It is, it is. And I think, like, I mean like coming from my time in France, I was in an international student campus, so they understood people who are new here and I was with other people, so it was easier for me to navigate culture shock, like I wasn't alone. And then when I was in the UK, everyone speaks English there, so that made it a little bit easier. And then when I was in Austin, obviously, back home in America, so it was not hard to get things. Here: completely new, completely different, completely just out of my element, and I think ... but that's why I chose this place, you know. It's everything that I imagined. Everything I wanted, I'm getting. And I think, like I went to bed feeling a lot more okay with things because I just reminded myself like this is honestly what I asked for, this is what I want, and it won't always be like this, you know. I think that's the other important thing, is I think just with life in general, whether you're taking up a new hobby, or you're starting a new job, or you're going to school for the first time or last time or whatnot, you struggle in the beginning of everything that you do. And we always expect things to work out perfectly, but there's a lot of things that you just can't imagine happening. There was no way I could imagine wrecking my bike, crashing my bike the first day that I get it! There's no way that I could imagine all these types of things.
[43:40] And I think there has to be an element of allowing yourself to go through the obstacles, and accepting the obstacles and accepting the future challenges that come your way, and not trying to avoid them, but just letting yourself know that whatever you go through, you'll get through. It might not be easy, but you'll still get through it. And I think if you're able to kind of just have that mindset and have that compassion for yourself, it'll make going through those struggles a little bit easier. And I did, like by the end of that day ... Because I did ... I put a lot of pressure on myself. I was starting to blame myself. I was like: You should've been paying attention to the right side of the road, you should've probably gotten a better bike, you should've ... It was a lot of, "You should've, could've, and would've." And that's not a great mentality to have, especially when you're new and you're already under pressure.
[44:29] The best approach is to be a little bit more understanding with yourself. It's like: It's okay, Jae, you're new here, you did your best, you went out, you took the initiative, you tried, you did what you could, and this is just the result. It's not a punishment, it's not something bad that happens, just something that has happened. And you'll get through it, just like you get through anything, you know. So I think very important to understand things take time, take it slow, don't try to rush yourself, and also just have compassion for yourself as you're getting through things. Because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself, and you got to at least be your biggest champion, your biggest fan. You have to encourage yourself the most you can. Because shit can get hard, and hard does not mean impossible. It doesn't mean things are going wrong. It just means that things are hard, and that's okay. But things will get easier through time.
[0:09] Welcome to Berlin, Jae! You're here!
Jae:
[0:11] Thank you, thank you. It it feels good to be here. It feels great.
Manuel:
[0:16] So I picked you up at the airport exactly one week ago and meant to grab a little podcast episode or like a life reportage audio report at the airport. But then I was running late and it didn't work out. I just remember you being so full of energy and happy and ... yeah, just happy, I guess.
Jae:
[0:41] Yep, I was on a high. I was riding on a big high. I mean this is like those things in life that you have told yourself that you want to accomplish, and they always seem so impossible. And then you actually accomplish it. I mean, just the act of accomplishing long term goal, I think, gives you so much dopamine and serotonin, honestly stuff that drugs can't even give you, you know, so when you met me, I was riding on the high.
Manuel:
[1:16] Yeah! So one week in, how do you feel?
Jae:
[1:21] I feel good. I feel settled a little bit, I feel happy, I feel satisfied in a way. Of course there are still things that I want to do, but for the longest time I've been trying to find a city that I can just call my home and I can grow, and I finally feel like that challenge, that obstacle for myself, is finally done. So I can now start to figure out how to actually live here and figure out how to make a life here. And that is such a relief, because every place that I've lived before I always had this back in my mind that I won't be here long, you know, I won't be here for more than like a year or so. But being in Berlin, I'm like: Oh yeah, I'm going to at least be here for four years - at least. So it's just ... it's a breath of fresh air, it's very refreshing.
The Trip and the New Apartment
Manuel:[2:15] So we're going to talk a little bit about all the things you've already done and accomplished in your first week here. But I want to hear in a little bit more detail about your trip and your first days here. So basically, I guess the trip ... I mean you just jumped into an airplane and packed your suitcases and went here. Was there anything that you think is important to mention. or interesting to anyone else who is thinking of coming to Berlin, not as a tourist but moving to Berlin, in terms of the actual trip. Is there anything that you had to prepare or that was important to know about?
Jae:
[2:57] To be honest, and I can only speak from my personal experience, so I will only speak from my own personal experience, but it was much easier than I thought it was going to be. I showed Manuel a letter that I write to my current self from my future self.
Manuel:
[3:16] Is there something you do, like all the time? Is this a regular thing?
Jae:
[3:19] It is a regular thing. I'm trying to make it more of a regular thing. So I had a message from my future self saying that this move was so easy, it was really great, I had no issues, everything worked out perfectly, and honestly, like it couldn't have worked out any better. All of my flights were on time. Oh! Well there was one little thing. I noticed ... So I was having a layover in London and it was supposed to go from London to Berlin and it was originally scheduled for 11 am in the morning. However it's Sunday ... No, Saturday. I checked my flight and that flight was not showing up anymore. And I got so worried. I was like: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Where is this flight? What happened, what happened? Then I read that it got canceled and I'm like: Oh crap! Damn!
[4:14] So thankfully I was able to reach out to the airlines and they were able to give me a new flight, but my advice would just be: Check your emails! Check your emails, because I did not. They sent that on Wednesday, technically, and I didn't check in until Saturday! And thankfully it was only because I was trying to tell somebody what time I was flying in. I was like: I can check out a flight here. So yeah, that would be my only advice, would be to check your emails. Also if you're going to bring a lot of stuff, prepare to pay an extra $100 for a suitcase, because I did that, or €100, whatever currency you're using.
Manuel:
[4:54] Just 100 flat, whatever currency! Yes, that's how much it costs!
Jae:
[5:00] But yeah, I would just say: Trust yourself, trust the process and don't worry too much. Like this is supposed to be an exciting adventure for yourself and yeah, they're gonna be obstacles, but the more you worry, the more unenjoyable these first impressions are going to be, and you want to at least start your adventure on a good note. So I did a lot, a lot, a lot of intentional positivity, intentional mindset-practicing, like generally repeating affirmations and just getting myself into a good mood. And I think that contributed a lot to me having an easy move here. So I can't give specific, actionable steps, but all I can say is: Just keep a positive mindset. And people may argue that: Oh, you can't always have a positive mindset. I disagree. That's the one thing in life that you can control, and if you're doing this for yourself, you deserve to be happy and excited about this adventure. So treat yourself to excitement, you know. Treat yourself to the rush and the thrill of a new adventure.
[6:11] And also know that while this is something that you're trying to accomplish, it's not going to be easy, and I'm not saying that you're not going to have obstacles and problems, because when .... We will get to this a little bit later on that episode, but I've already run into some obstacles and problems. So it's not about thinking that everything's going to be perfect, but at least in the beginning, try to at least have the most optimistic mindset that you can.
Manuel:
[6:36] "Treat yourself," is what I got from that. And so then you got here and you somehow, managed to have a room ready to move into, the day you arrived here. Impressive!
Jae:
[6:52] Yes Manuel picked me up from the airport, we went to his place. Also, thank you, Manuel, for honestly being a great welcoming host. It made everything so much more comfortable and smooth, I have to attribute that to you. Truly, truly, truly appreciate that, very grateful for your help, honestly, ten out of ten, highly recommend! But yeah, I was actually lucky enough to have two options of places to live, but there was one place that I was really preferring, the guy that I'm subleasing from right now. He had reached out to me, maybe the middle of last weekend, offering his place. It was fully furnished already, like it had a bed, a couch, a TV, balcony, table, all the type of stuff, my own bathroom, and I was just so excited to be here, and I was like: You know what, it's 6, or 18 o'clock, why not just reach out to them and see if I can go see the place? So I literally dropped off myself at Manuel's flat, and I just traveled over to his place, liked the place, gave him my money through Paypal, got the key, and I was like: Yep, got it! That was like maybe in the first two hours of getting here.
Manuel:
[8:08] So looking back, I remember you started looking for places like months ago. What do you think is the right time to start looking for a room or a place to move to before coming to Berlin?
Jae:
[8:19] I don't know if there's a specific time. I mean, the sooner the better, but then I'll give you my pros and cons of doing it really early. The pros of doing it early is you get into the habit of looking for a place, like you start to figure out the certain websites, certain things that you're looking for, the certain ways that communication goes, and that's a super cool thing. But the con of that is a lot of places that I've always checked out, they're looking for people to come in like a week or two weeks, like around that duration, and they also prefer you to be there in person. So that was kind of not helpful because I wasn't there. And then on the other end of things, if you wait till the last minute to start searching, you can find a place, but then you might not have as many options. But once again, especially when you're moving here, you have to just kind of compromise and just be grateful for the opportunity that you have, because you might not have a lot of them. But my goal is to throw everything at the wall and just see what sticks. So if you can do that as early as possible, do that as early as possible. If you maybe are in a week or two before, still try to throw as much as you can.
[9:42] Now keep in mind that you don't want to burn yourself out, you don't want to overwhelm yourself, but develop a habit that works for you. I personally used Facebook groups to find all of my housing when I was living in the UK, when I was living in Austin, and when I was living in Berlin. Every place that I found has been through Facebook. And the reason why I like Facebook Groups - not Facebook as a company or whatnot, but Facebook Groups - is because I'm talking to actual people, and it's easier for me to confirm if they are, you know, human or whatnot. And generally, a lot more people speak English that way too, and it was just easier for me to communicate with people that way. And especially since I'm moving here, I'm dealing with more subleasing type of things, so I'm not having to deal specifically with showing proof of income, having a Schufa, having all this paperwork that I just won't have in my first few days of being here. So I highly recommend doing it as early as possible, or just reaching out and having some sort of structure, just continuously checking, but just don't overwork yourself. And also just have faith, you know, because the place that I got, the place, I'm living it right now, he reached out to me, I didn't reach out to him. So there's just a thing of just staying optimistic and trusting that it'll all work out the way that it works out.
🚪
Manuel:[11:12] So we didn't spend that much time together this first week, but I remember specifically when you were at my place, you were like, "Huh? You have a door to your kitchen that you can close! That's so weird!" And I'm sure there's many, many things that you're noticing that are just different from US culture. And I'm just curious. What are some things you noticed, some first impressions, some first little culture shocks, maybe. Kind of what are the things that surprised you?
Jae:
[11:46] Yeah, every room has a door here! The living room has a door, the kitchen has a door.
Manuel:
[11:49] Yes, we like privacy! We like to shut our doors!
Jae:
[11:52] Yes! Y'all do! We have very ... like the only thing that has doors in my apartments back at home were just your personal bedroom and your bathroom. But the kitchen, the living room, they were always open, no matter where I went. That was weird. The way the doors open here are different too. Like doors, some of the doors they pull towards you, where most doors in America, they pull away from you. So like you push the doors.
Manuel:
[12:23] Wait, Doesn't that depend on what side of the door you're on?
Jae:
[12:27] No, like, so for example, like the door to my apartment, I push it towards me, which is really weird. I notice that in some places like I'm confused over which way I open the door. And that's just a little small thing.
♻️
[12:44] You guys have much better ... like, y'all are more conscious about your recycling. Like most times in America - and once again I'm generalizing, so I'm only talking about my experiences in America - but we only have a recycling bin and a trash bin. There is a recycling for glass bin, recycling for cardboard and paper bin, there's a recycling for plastic bin here, and there's a trash bin!Manuel:
[13:07] Okay, let's do a little mini topic here because we received an email from Susan. Hi Susan! And she wrote as a topic suggestion: Recycling. What goes in each bin? What can be recycled? How to organize bins in your house? Where do milk cartons go? What kind of plastic can go in the yellow bin? Plastic toys? Food packaging? What do I do with old electronics? So, lots of questions! Just kind of a mini overview: most households have either at least three or four different bins, as she says, so basically there's general garbage which I guess should come last because that's kind of everything else. Then there's paper, where you put paper ,and it's for recycling paper and cardboard. And then there's plastic which is basically any type of single-use plastic, and also milk and juice cartons, kind of these Tetra Paks, and yeah, there's a few different kind of logos or symbols that help with that, but also not really. And then I also have organic waste, so basically food waste. And then there's kind of the Restmüll, so Rest means "the rest," right? So everything else goes there, and that stuff, I think, gets just burned. And the rest gets recycled.
[14:33] And old electronics, this is a good point. So if you buy ... Basically any place that sells electronics also has to take back old electronics of the general type and size. So it doesn't matter if they are selling that exact brand or that exact thing, like if you're buying a computer monitor, for example, that place should also take back your old printer, for example, as an example, so that goes for any store, whether it's an electronic store or a supermarket or anything. And in terms of paper and plastic, I think the big thing is that you shouldn't put anything in there that's mixed, so if there's things that are glued together and there are different materials, that doesn't go in there because that can't be recycled. And yeah, there's a few more rules that I'm not too certain about, but that's kind of the general gist. And yeah, I think Germans are quite proud of the fact of this kind of whole recycling system. Also, glass goes into containers on the street sorted by different colors, so that gets recycled. But unfortunately - at least from what I've heard - a lot of stuff ends up not being recycled, either because it's done wrong or it gets mixed at some point. So it's like we're kind of proud of the whole recycling chain, but at the end of the day, the results are not perfect.
Jae:
[16:05] Hey, but at least it's better than nothing, you know. like at least the system is out there. And there's definitely a learning curve to it all. Like I'm learning to know what to separate or whatnot, but I think it's something that like at least Germany is doing that, and it's better than just throwing everything into one bin and just calling it a day, you know. Like there's at least attempt or actions at it. What do you do with an envelope? I'm looking at an envelope right now and I'm like: That's technically paper and plastic.
Manuel:
[16:35] See, that's a great question! And it's a great example for my own ignorance! I'm googling: Briefumschlag mit Plastik welche Müll. Let's see what it says. Yeah, so they can go ... Yeah, so that's not a problem, I guess stuff like that because it's ... So what happens is when it goes into the recycling center, it all goes goes into water, and the water is kind of separating, and then the paper basically goes down and the plastic stays on top, and that's how they separate that. So yeah, you can put those in the paper. But if it's, for example, like a yogurt box thing that has like plastic and paper glued together, then that would be different, I think. So, if in doubt, just google it.
Jae:
[17:36] Gotcha. Interesting. So much to learn.
💧
[17:40] Okay, there's another thing that was really interesting for me. When you go to a restaurant, there are three types of water you can get. You can get tap, still and sparkling. I've never had so many options for water in my life!Manuel:
[17:56] See, this was a whole thing on my other podcast in the category of Das Nervt! Because it really ... Some restaurants will refuse to give you tap water, because the thing in Germany is that restaurants make most of their money, or at least a lot of their money, by selling drinks and they don't want to give you free tap water. And that's one of the biggest things that I love about the US, where you just get a giant jug of tap water, you don't even have to ask for it, it's just there. And I am a thirsty person, I love drinking water, and so it's great. Yeah, in Germany, basically, the default actually is that you order a drink, and even if the drink that you want is water, you kind of order it. And so if you say, "Hey, I would like a water please," they will ask you, "Sparkling or non-sparkling?" Sparkling obviously comes in a bottle and is paid, but even if you say, "No, no. No gas," like not sparkling, it'll be a super expensive little bottle with water that came on a truck.
[19:05] And if you want tap water that is free, you need to specifically specify or ask, "Can I have some tap water?" And, depending on the restaurant, they all either just do it, or they'll do it begrudgingly and they will look at you. Or, something that you see more and more, even on menus, they'll say: Hey, if you want tap water, you can only have it if you also order a drink, or we will charge you a euro, or whatever. And it's a little ridiculous, but I kind of prefer ... It's a little more honest, you know, I prefer paying a euro for tap water, than for them to give me an angry look. It's like: Don't look at me like that, like if you really depend that much on the money from the drinks then then charge the euro, that's fine. And honestly, I kind of get it, too. Because meals in Berlin are really cheap, and if you're having lunch for €7 and then you're having tap water, it's like, yeah, the restaurant isn't making a lot of money off of that. And if you otherwise pay another €3 or €4 for a drink, you know, I get it. So I've given up on the tap water fight. I just ordered my favorite drink, which is Apfelschorle, which I heard is also another thing that surprised you.
Jae:
[20:27] Yes, just to end on that water thing, I ended up paying €5 for still water, and I was very, very confused. I was like: What is this?
Manuel:
[20:36] Oh no! They gave you a big bottle of Evian or something like that?
Jae:
[20:38] I'm like, yeah, yeah, and it was just ... No, it wasn't. Like in a little wine glass! I'm like, it wasn't even that special. They tried to put a little grapefruit little slice in there and I was like: That's what I paid for? I was like: If I had known that, I would have just got tap water! I thought that tap and still water was the same exact thing. Apparently not, Germany! So, yeah. Yes, apfel ... I'm still learning how to pronounce words, but the sparkling apple juice, is what I wanted to call it, is a hit. That was a great, great, great discovery that Manuel shared with me.
🍏
Manuel:[21:14] But it's not sparkling apple juice. It's apple juice mixed with sparkling water. And it's kind of important to specify this, because I think if you just made apple juice sparkling, it wouldn't be as refreshing, because it would just be so sweet, right?
Jae:
[21:27] That's true.
Manuel:
[21:28] That's kind of the trick, the hit about it. The trick about it is that it's 50-50 and sparkling.
Jae:
[21:36] It is a great refreshing drink, and so was the Club-Mate. That one is a new favorite of mine as well.
Manuel:
[21:45] Club-Mate, yeah, that's a very Berlin thing, it's now completely mainstream. I remember like fifteen years ago it was a very kind of nerd thing to drink, like all the computer nerds were drinking Club-Mate because it has a lot of caffeine and it's very sweet. It's kind of like I think it has about as much sugar as a Coca-Cola does, and as much caffeine or more, but it doesn't taste as sweet, I think? And so yeah, a lot of people like it.
Jae:
[22:15] Yeah, they're dangerous. I'm gonna have to not get these anymore, because they are very sweet and sugary.
Manuel:
[22:20] Yeah.
Jae:
[22:22] And I try not to drink too much sugar. But I've treated myself, I've been in tourist mode. Like last week, that was my tourist mode, so I was like: It's okay!
Manuel:
[22:32] Definitely. Nice. Anything else that's ...
🇩🇪
[22:36] Okay, the other thing. Everyone told me, "Oh yeah," you know, like I'm excited to practice my German here, "Oh well, just know that you probably won't be able to practice that much, because everyone here speaks English." That is a lie! That is a lie! A straight-up lie! Conversationally, yes, but not when it comes to service, getting something done, going to a store, trying to ask people questions. Most of the people that I've come in contact with that I need actual help from, only speak German. And I've been like: Oh! This is not as easy as I thought it was going to be! Obviously we're in Germany, so it makes sense, right? But my expectations were not that!Manuel:
[23:28] Interesting, very interesting! Yeah, I feel like you hear both things, you know, people complaining or being surprised by how everybody just speaks English and even kind of the stereotype is you can't even go to a bar anymore in Berlin, or to a cafe, without the waiter talking to you in English. And it's so difficult to learn German that way. But on the other hand, I think it's yes, obviously those things happen, but at the end of the day as you've pointed out, we are in Germany and kind of the lingua franca or the language, the default language, is German, yes. And I guess, yeah, maybe if you go to a store and you want to make a contract, you want to get a cell phone contract, the sales person is going to want to talk in German.
Jae:
[24:15] Yes, and that's happened a lot and that's getting to the next point of the struggles that I've come to face while being here already.
Manuel:
[24:24] Tell us about them.
Jae:
[24:26] For sure. I would say, I mean, like the language barrier has been, I think the biggest challenge. And I'm trying not to overwhelm myself because of course I need to learn German, but I'm not going to learn it overnight,
📱
[24:39] But in terms of getting a phone contract, setting up a bank account, going to the store, buying a bike or what not. A lot of these people, their preferred language is German, so ... And they can speak a little bit of English, but it's not enough for me to really understand what's going on, and for them to really understand myself.[25:04] Like I went to go get a phone plan. I just needed a prepaid phone, because I just needed a sim card right then and there. I wasn't trying to order one, I was trying to get a prepaid sim card right then and there. So I went to the Telekom store and they just had some on the little rack and it was very expensive, it was like 5 GB for €25, but that was the biggest plan that they had. So then I was like: Okay, let me go to Vodafone and see. And the guy was talking to me and I was trying to just get a prepaid sim card, like I emphasized, "A prepaid sim card." And he was trying to, I think, sell me a contract for like 50 years or whatnot, and he was speaking English, but it was still broken-up English, so I couldn't really understand what he was saying, like I did not trust that I was getting what I needed. And, maybe I'm just nervous or whatnot, but I do feel that like sometimes I might be getting taken advantage of, because I don't really know what people are saying, that much, and I'm just trying to get the easiest thing. So it's really difficult to have an actual conversation where we're each understanding each other and I'm getting the best type of service that I can, when that language barrier is there, you know. And it's difficult because like you're not always available, other people aren't always available, to help me out, like I'm doing these things solo. And then whenever like I got - Oh my gosh! - my bike ...
Manuel:
[26:36] So just about that story, I agree that, obviously, speaking German would have helped you in that moment, but also ... and I guess that's what this podcast is about, and we'll do an episode about getting a sim card - or a short episode because yeah, it's not rocket science - but I think the better method is, basically picking something and knowing about the options, instead of just wandering into a Telekom or Vodafone store where they're obviously going to want to sell you a contract instead of just selling you a prepaid card. And so yeah, I think, no matter if you speak German or not, they're gonna probably try to up-sell you, or sell you something expensive there.
Jae:
[27:20] Yeah, and I'm just like: Can't you just work with me please? Not everything has to be about selling! I'm just trying to live! And I ended up going with a Telekom 5 GB one, because it was literally on the shelf, I did not have to talk to the guy. And yeah, it's a little bit more expensive, but in terms of simplicity ... And that's one thing I would say, you might ... Like, for example my apartment is a little bit more than the average apartment, but if you are moving to a new country or a new place, it might be worth it for the sake of simplicity and ease to pay a little bit more to have it a little bit easier, if that makes sense.
Manuel:
[28:04] It does make sense. Obviously it depends on whether you can afford to do it.
Jae:
[28:08] Yes, it does.
Manuel:
[28:10] But obviously I agree that you are making your life easier if you kind of, yeah, are able to pay a little bit more. The sim card just ... we will do an individual episode. But so you didn't get a two-year contract, you just got a prepaid sim that you can basically ditch at any point, correct?
Jae:
[28:28] Yes, which I will be. I'm switching to a another company after this month! Yeah. But yeah.
Manuel:
[28:34] Okay. Let's talk about it in the next one, maybe. So, bike. You went and bought a bike.
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Jae:[28:39] Yes, so Sunday one of my other coworkers sent me information of a used bike sale that they have going on, and I was like: Okay, perfect! I mean, like we talked about bikes in our last episode. I'm like: This is a great time to get myself a bike. I've been walking or using the subway, which has been great, but like we talked about it's so much nicer to have a bike to be able to see the city. So I go there and I'm looking at all the bikes, and you know, I was very, very confident in myself before I got there! I was like: Okay, this is gonna be a breeze! And I was going to be able to just go riding the bike and just see, and whatnot. And the one ... I would say, like it is the culture shock of not knowing the language and still feeling out of place is still present, and granted, I need to give myself time is still going to be my advice in the future, at the end of the episode, but it's going to take time for me to feel comfortable here, you know, I'm going to feel uncomfortable for the time being. And I did. I felt so uncomfortable there because I did not know ... like I thought I knew what to ask people or whatnot, but once again, either people were just trying to sell me, or people didn't speak enough English for me to actually have a conversation about the bikes that I could get, or whatnot.
[29:58] So when I was looking at the bikes, like I was just trying to look and just use my own perception and evaluation to see which bikes worked for me or whatnot. And then I ended up seeing the bike that I found and I sent Manuel a picture of it, and he was like, "Yeah, that's a good buy, that's a great frame," or whatnot. I ended up being able to get the price down, but it was so interesting because it was like I talked to one guy - there was two guys who were selling this bike - and I talked to one guy about getting the price down and then we agreed on €175, but then he got busy with somebody else. So then the other guy came around and I was like, "We agreed on €175." He was like, "No." And then I was like, "Well, that guy said that." And he was ... they communicated and he was like, "Yes." I'm like: Y'all didn't work on your communication because you're not about to up-sell me again after he just said €175. I gotcha! And then they did not want to take card.
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[31:02] So then that was a little difficult. Then they ended up finally accepting card. They could have taken card the whole entire time, but they had preferred cash, and I'm like, "But if you have a card thing, just let me use my card." So it was difficult trying to negotiate and talk about the bike or whatnot. And since I don't speak the language, I don't get a conversation, it's either: Okay, buy the bike and leave, type of thing. It's not like: Oh, how long have you had this bike for? What's the frame like? Or what not. So I got very nervous in that setting. And then in line I was trying to get a lock for my bike, but then the one that I wanted, they only took cash, so then I didn't have that much cash on me, which ... It's so weird, because some places here prefer card and other places here prefer cash, and so I don't really know how much cash I should keep on me all the time. And I don't want to keep a lot of cash on me because you don't want to get robbed or whatnot, but then other places are like, "No, we only take cash," and I'm like, "What do I do?"Manuel:
[32:07] It's true. Germany is ... Berlin is kind of caught between two worlds, because Germany is still very much a - I'm not sure if it's cash-first, but kind of - cash-necessary country. Like people still carry around cash, and there are still places that only accept cash, because it's cheaper for them or whatever. But then Berlin is obviously also hip and kind of future-forward or whatever, and so there are some cafés that will only accept cash, and then there's some hip new cafés that will only accept credit cards, or cards in general, I should say, Girocard, credit card. And it's like, yeah, so now you kind of just, you need both, like you can't just have one, you need you need to have both, a little bit of both. And I guess, yeah, if you're buying a bike, obviously if you're buying a bike at a bike shop, they'll always accept cards, at least kind of the Girocard, like not necessarily credit card. But that was more kind of a flea-market type of situation, right, where it was outside and stuff? And in those kinds of situations you kind of always need cash in Germany.
Jae:
[33:21] Yeah, exactly.
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[33:22] So I learned that in ... so some of that ... I mean, I enjoyed ... I liked the bike that I had. And it was a great one-day - not even a day! - of riding my bike. And then Monday morning I'm riding, and I - it's my fault, I fully take blame for this - but I was distracted by a building because I was like, Oh, it's a sports complex, there's different things in it! And little did I know that I was slowly turning to the right and I run into a pole! A little small little pole, I think that's for cars not to go on the sidewalk, and I end up damaging the front wheel of my bike. And this is not ... like it has not even been 24 hours yet. I think it has been, maybe ...Manuel:
[34:10] Did you hurt yourself?
Jae:
[34:11] I did. I scraped my knee. We had a little boo boo! That I had to go get plasters for it, which, that's another different thing. We say Band-Aids in America, we don't use the word, "plasters."
Manuel:
[34:13] Oh boy.
Jae:
[34:23] So that was very interesting. But then, okay, so then I messaged Manuel, I'm like: Hi, so I damaged my bike already!
Manuel:
[34:31] You sounded so down. You sounded ...
Jae:
[34:33] I was so down. I was so ... I won't lie, I was very upset. I mean, I just got this bike and I'm like: Oh! Like it hasn't even been a day, and I paid so much money for the bike.
Manuel:
[34:45] You wrecked it totally!
Jae:
[34:46] And I wrecked it. And once again there was this guy who tried to help me but he didn't speak English, so I didn't know what he was saying, so I just kept ... I dragged ... I can't roll the bike because the front wheel doesn't work, so I was just dragging my bike. It's not a light bike and I still have maybe ten minutes to go from walking to home, so then I end up going to one of the bike shops that Manuel suggested that I go to, then I go there.
[35:12] And it was difficult because they don't - this is my thing with the whole language barrier of the service things - they don't really speak that well of English. So he was trying to explain to me, and all I got was he can't fix the bike. And he was trying to explain to me what the problem was, but he was speaking in German and I was like, "I don't speak that, I don't know what you're saying, I'm sorry!" And then he got someone else who was doing a little bit better, but all he could say was, "We can't fix the bike." So it was like in those situations like I don't even know what the problem was, I don't know if they can fix the bike, and I'm like: Crap! I mean I just bought this bike and they cannot fix it. I'm like: Aargh! I'm like: That's like literally €200 out of my pocket right there, just in the trash. Then my mom was like, "Well just try try to find another place and see what they say." So I dragged my little bike ... I felt so ... just like lost, just dragging this bike to the next place! Keep in mind I don't know where I'm going, so I'm trying to look at my phone for directions or whatnot. And I take it to another place and they say that they might be able to fix it. They're going to order a part then it's going to cost like €150 or whatnot.
[36:32] And all I said was, "Okay." And they didn't take my money like my [inaudible] till mid-May, but that was one of my other frustrations because I'm like, I can't have a conversation with this person about like, one, negotiating price down to what is the actual problem. Like I don't even know what part he was telling me he's going to buy. It was like something for the front wheel, and I'm like, "Is that really going to make the thing work?" And he only looked at it, like I don't even know if that's gonna even help. So I'm going to probably try to find some other places to go, but that already is one of my frustrations, is just not being able to get the help that I need because I don't understand the language and we can't communicate that well. So it's been ... I will say that I have loved my time here but definitely it's a little bit overwhelming in some cases. Like I'm not going to lie and say that everything is perfect. Nothing in life is perfect,
Culture Shock
[37:28] I'm very grateful to be here, but already I am seeing the struggles of being in a new country and a new time, not understanding the language or whatnot, and all of that.Manuel:
[37:41] And all of this, I swear to you, is part of culture shock. That is the experience. And yes, it's a rollercoaster. You have all these emotions, you get endorphins, but you also struggle, and there's going to be so many things that go wrong and that you don't understand. And that's just culture shock.
Jae:
[38:04] Yeah. Yeah. No, you're definitely right. And it's a part ... The thing is I know this. It's like even before I came here, I was telling my mom, I was like, "I'm excited to see what the culture shock is." And the universe was like, "Alright, bet I got you. I will show you culture shock! And it's just different, like in the moment of things, because you just want everything to go well, and then things aren't going well and things don't go well, and then you just get confused. And then you feel this pressure on you, because it's like at those shops there's now a line, you know, and I'm holding up the line because I don't understand what's going on. And they're not that compassionate to me, which is understandable, they have a job that ... they're just trying to get people in and out, so ...
Manuel:
[38:49] It's also Berlin. You just need to be prepared for people not being necessarily compassionate or overly friendly, outwardly friendly, because that's just not the culture.
Jae:
[39:03] Yes. Yes, that's another culture shock. In America it's: Customers First! The whole let-me-speak-to-the-manager type of thing is very real there! It's not ... I understand that, you know, like I'm not coming here wanting to feel entitled, that I deserve special treatment or what not, but it's just like I'm all about problem-solving, and when I can't solve a problem, that makes me a little bit overwhelmed. I'm like: Oh my gosh, how can I do this? But then, yeah, it's, what you said, like it's all a part of the journey, it's all a part of the experience, and I need to relax.
[39:41] And this is my advice for myself is: Things take time. It hasn't ... yesterday wasn't even a week yet, you know, so I think I need to give myself a little bit more credit for what I'm going through. And it's like the first week! Obviously things are not going to go one hundred percent smoothly in the first week, hell, not even probably in the first few months, you know. I'm still gonna have some obstacles. I think I was probably pushing myself a little bit too much, especially given it's like only been seven days, to get all of this stuff done in the first seven days. And the great thing, you know, I'm excited, I just want to get established, but my advice to myself for now on, and anybody else listening here, is: Take it slow, and know that things take time, and it's okay not to do everything at once. Of course it might come with some obstacles, you might not be able to do everything that you want to, but overall it might be beneficial to say: Okay, I'm only going to achieve two things this week.
[40:46] And maybe not until my third month will I have everything that I need. Because it can get ... at least, especially knowing myself, I get overwhelmed very easily, and I got very overwhelmed yesterday. Yesterday ... I always have great days, but yesterday was not my best day. I'll just be very just honest with that because I was just so like: Oh my God, and just exhausted, and not to mention jet-lagged, and like starting work again, and just trying to figure everything out, and it's been a rollercoaster of a week so far! I love where I am, and I think it's fun though to have that, because I mean it makes great story times, you know, it's great for the plot!
Manuel:
[41:30] Yes, and that's that's exactly the perspective you should have, even if you're not telling that story on a podcast later, just kind of try to take an outside perspective and just enjoy kind of the movie, and enjoy the rollercoaster. And how boring would it be if just everything was smooth sailing always and a hundred-percent perfectly planned and executed. And it's really part of the experience, I think.
Jae:
[41:59] It is, it is. And I think, like, I mean like coming from my time in France, I was in an international student campus, so they understood people who are new here and I was with other people, so it was easier for me to navigate culture shock, like I wasn't alone. And then when I was in the UK, everyone speaks English there, so that made it a little bit easier. And then when I was in Austin, obviously, back home in America, so it was not hard to get things. Here: completely new, completely different, completely just out of my element, and I think ... but that's why I chose this place, you know. It's everything that I imagined. Everything I wanted, I'm getting. And I think, like I went to bed feeling a lot more okay with things because I just reminded myself like this is honestly what I asked for, this is what I want, and it won't always be like this, you know. I think that's the other important thing, is I think just with life in general, whether you're taking up a new hobby, or you're starting a new job, or you're going to school for the first time or last time or whatnot, you struggle in the beginning of everything that you do. And we always expect things to work out perfectly, but there's a lot of things that you just can't imagine happening. There was no way I could imagine wrecking my bike, crashing my bike the first day that I get it! There's no way that I could imagine all these types of things.
[43:40] And I think there has to be an element of allowing yourself to go through the obstacles, and accepting the obstacles and accepting the future challenges that come your way, and not trying to avoid them, but just letting yourself know that whatever you go through, you'll get through. It might not be easy, but you'll still get through it. And I think if you're able to kind of just have that mindset and have that compassion for yourself, it'll make going through those struggles a little bit easier. And I did, like by the end of that day ... Because I did ... I put a lot of pressure on myself. I was starting to blame myself. I was like: You should've been paying attention to the right side of the road, you should've probably gotten a better bike, you should've ... It was a lot of, "You should've, could've, and would've." And that's not a great mentality to have, especially when you're new and you're already under pressure.
[44:29] The best approach is to be a little bit more understanding with yourself. It's like: It's okay, Jae, you're new here, you did your best, you went out, you took the initiative, you tried, you did what you could, and this is just the result. It's not a punishment, it's not something bad that happens, just something that has happened. And you'll get through it, just like you get through anything, you know. So I think very important to understand things take time, take it slow, don't try to rush yourself, and also just have compassion for yourself as you're getting through things. Because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself, and you got to at least be your biggest champion, your biggest fan. You have to encourage yourself the most you can. Because shit can get hard, and hard does not mean impossible. It doesn't mean things are going wrong. It just means that things are hard, and that's okay. But things will get easier through time.